Look, there's more of us..

Do you have children or other children outside marriage?
How do you feel about having children?
How do you feel about disciplining children?

Hi people,

Firstly, I would like to say a very BIG THANK you to everyone who takes the time to read and leave a comment, your contributions are greatly valued, please keep them coming. So today, I'm tackling 3 questions in 1 as they all pertain to the subject of children.

First question, answer is NO, I don't have children. Hmm, how do I feel about children? I would definitely love to have kids. One of the purposes of marriage is for procreation, I said one, I don't believe it is the main purpose. I believe a marriage can be complete without children as long as that has been agreed before hand by both partners prior to saying I do. As an African girl, I know the importance placed on having children by our parents but the purpose of increasing your family is not to make our parents happy and satisfy in-laws but because husband and wife are ready spiritually, mentally, emotionally and financially. Becoming a parent is almost like preparing for marriage, I think it even requires more preparation because even though you can divorce a spouse (not recommended) you can't divorce your kids, they have your DNA!

I and Mr O have discussed this although not in too much detail, we both would love to have kids, 2, not so particular on sex of the kids but I know he really wants a girl, he already has her name picked out and all! Lol! One day, I asked him what if we had a boy first and he just looked at me as if How can?? God, please answer his prayers o. Personally, I would prefer to have boys but at the end of the day, a child is a miracle sent by God and I accept whoever he sends. I want to be a mother, some days more than others but I know for me definitely I would like to expand our family. Our plan is to have some 'us' time before the kids come, so we can settle in on 'knowing' each other before our lives change forever.

Make no mistake, having a child changes your life forever, I'm not a mother but I've been privileged to see friends and family have children and with their kids and the truth is that it really becomes about them. My friend says to enjoy my life before the kids come because...yes, it's fun and all but every time you see a baby looking and smelling sweet and nice and you coo and hum, say thank you to the sometimes tired mum and dad for doing such a great job. For me, any opportunity to take care of kids, I grab because I know I've picked up quite a number of tips along the way. Parenthood calls for total loss of self and it's all about the babies, I think I'm ready.

When it comes to babies, I always have this bittersweet feeling because a few years ago I was diagnosed with a condition that can sometimes affect fertility but that is the subject for another post and will discuss it later. However, I must note that I think it's important to discuss any health issues you have THAT MAY AFFECT YOUR PARTNER, I'm not saying dredge every single issue from your past but anything that may affect them. You will spend the rest of your life with this person so do share, this was part of our pre-marital counselling questionnaire but we'd discussed it already.

On the issue of discipline, I've been reading some books on parenting and I've come to realise while there are no specific rules on what methods to use, children need to be disciplined. The Bible says we should train a child in the way they should go so when they are old they will not depart from it. That's a big responsibility for indeed how do we instill discipline when we ourselves sometimes need discipline ourselves! However, I believe we should discuss on how discipline and punishment should be carried out. We haven't discusses this yet and I'm intrigued to know what his thoughts are. I believe in corporal punishment as long as it's not too generous that it loses it's effectiveness but this is me talking as a single girl. I haven't pushed, maybe I'll change my mind then! Lol! Anyway we have two wonderful mothers and mentors who can give us advise.

Since we both do not have children, I don't really have a lot of comments on that. I'm not sure I'm cut for the complexities of a blended family, relationship e.t.c. Don't get me wrong, there's no problem with it, it's not just something I envisioned for my life. But not telling your partner that you have kids when you've started talking marriage is a big no no because it's a big issue, those children will be a BIG part of your lives as a family.

I'm really enjoying answering these questions, they make for interesting conversation, not because we end up coming with the same answers but we realise what the other person's thoughts on the issue are and not assume some things. So I'm embracing this season of no diapers and night feeding but looking forward to when she says Mama!

Till later

Xoxo

And then there were others..

What role do you see your parents, siblings and extended family playing in your relationship?

I asked my sister to choose a number from 1-20 and she chose 13 so today I'll talk about the role of the extended family in a relationship. I'm beginning to realise that being in love with someone is more than being in love with someone. I'll explain, I love Mr O, because I love him as a person (one person) I have to accept and love ALL that he is. His strengths, his weaknesses, his mistakes, his friends, his family, his assets and liabilities, his past. I cannot say yes to him and begin to pick and choose what I want and what I don't. Truthfully, I find this sometimes scary because I wonder if I'm really up to the task but well....

I come from a close knit nuclear family, I don't have close relationships with my uncles/aunts on either parents side. Long story for another day. I love my family, I really love my family sometimes too much I think if that's possible. I won't lie and say we've always gotten along, we've had our share of rough days but I know that they are there for me when push comes to shove. However, when it comes to marriage, my prayer is that we all continue to grow in love. In marriage a man must leave and cleave and become one. I say man because the Bible emphasises men, maybe He knew that it wouldn't be easy for them, the Bible also says a woman's desire would be for her husband. When we get married, my father remains my father but I am submitted to my husband's authority, I become Mrs O. I pray that I not only write it but my actions shall show it as well. My mum had a terrible time with my father's family and I have prayed this will never be the case for me as this gave me a very poor image of marriage growing up. I don't like stress but I've trusted God that I'm just increasing my family, a new dad, mum, brother and cousins.

My mum is one of my best friends, Pastor O advised us in our counselling class never to discuss conflicts within our marriage to either set of parents, a mentor or pastor is preferable. This is because you are in love with your partner, they are in love with you their child, when you forgive your partner, things might still remain frosty between him and them so I know I will need to work on balancing that relationship out and not call mummy every time Mr O does this or that though if the truth be told I usually wonder whose mum she is, his or mine, I think she just tries to be fair! I expect my family to respect Mr O as the head of our home, as my husband and life partner, I expect the same from him to my family as the ones who nurtured and reared me to become the woman I am today. I expect to respect his parents and have his family respect me as well. Africans say you marry a family and not an individual, it is true in some respects but please keep them out of the bedroom! Lol! I mean keep the private things private, anything to do with family should be discussed by both of us and then implemented. I see the role of parents, siblings and extended family as they being there to give love, advice and respect.

One of Mr O's closest cousins rubs me off the wrong way, I think it's because we see life so differently but what we have in common is our love for Mr O, we may never be friends but I pray to God for the grace to accept her and love her all the same as I have been commanded to by Him. After the wedding, it's God, Mr O, family, career/ministry (in that order) and I expect it to be the same from his end. Parents advice gratefully needed and acknowledged but please do not be offended if we have a different opinion. No discussing issues with parents without other partner's knowledge, do to partner's family as you would like partner to do to your family. I pray and ask God for the grace for my new family to accept me but I'm not going to live my life either fighting them or killing myself to gain their favour. I'm just going to be the best me that God created.


So far so good, we haven't had any big issues on either side so far but then the families haven't really interacted that much. Mr O is closer to my family than I am to his but I'm just letting things flow naturally, I don't like doing things simply because it's expected of me but because it's right and I enjoy doing it. So I'll keep praying. I want to have a great relationship with my in-laws or in-loves as I prefer to call them, I don't want my children deprived of relationships with their cousins/aunts/uncle because of petty fights and quarrels. Father, help me.

So the role of our parents and family are to continue to give us the unconditional love that has nurtured us into the people we have become today. They are there to celebrate with us, cry with us, bless us, be blessed by us, being there through all the seasons of our lives.

Till later

Xoxo

Learning from the past

What was your last major relationship like? How did it end?

To make things interesting, I've decided not to answer the questions in chronological order but just as it comes. Some are very easy, requiring a simple yes/no. I've been pondering on whether I'm going to put up the answers to all twenty questions, if I do it will be a significant breakthrough but today I'm going to talk about the lessons I have learnt from the past.

Hmm, I'm 'unique' in a way that my last major relationship was my only other relationship whether major or minor! Unique because I'm in my late twenties and even my twenty one year old sister has had more boyfriends than I have! There are quite a number of reasons why things happened that way and maybe I will share these in a future post, I've always wanted to write a post titled 'Why I am still single'! Lol! One of these was that from an early age, I had a strong conviction that relationships were designed to ultimately end in marriage, so there was no point having a boyfriend just for the sake of it but the relationship should have a purpose and as I was not ready to get married, I just didn't put myself out there.

I met AN through a mutual friend, though I didn't know it was a set up at the time. Strangely enough, I had recently turned down the friend who was doing the setting up so I thought it was quite interesting that he was fixing me up with a friend of his. I should have known something was up as he was so insistent on his 'friend' dropping me home after an outing but I can be simple like that, anyway we met and had a very interesting conversation. That was a good thing about the relationship, we were on the same page on quite a number of issues. We talked about God and faith, finance and a host of things, honestly it had been a while that I had been able to connect intellectually on that level with someone for a long time, I had my longest phone conversations with AN, talking all night about everything and nothing. I even shared my list (prayer points for husband to be) with him which was a first. I was attracted to his sense of purpose and vision, his relationship with God and his commitment to his church, he was a deacon in his church and I must say this made me really relax because I'd always prayed that my husband would be more spiritually mature than me. After most conversations, we would pray, that was a first for me!

So what happened, if he was all that and a bag of chips, why and how did it end? I would love to say he did this or he did that e.t.c. but the truth is that it takes two people to tango. Relationships start with two people and end with two people. One of the things I learnt about myself in that relationship was that under my 'nice' and 'beautiful' persona was a very stubborn girl. Now, not all stubbornness is bad but sometimes in life, we need to choose our battles carefully for we may win the battle and lose the war. I know God is working in my life and making me a more mature woman today than I was then. I felt that I wasn't good enough as myself, that he had this image of what a pastor's wife should be and while I did have some of the qualities, he was determined to mold me into that image. Now while I am very conservative, I do not like to be bound to tradition, I don't do things because it's the way it's always been done, I do it because it's the most effective way. I felt we were rushing a lot, also I was uncomfortable with the pace the physical aspects of the relationship was progressing without any corresponding depth emotionally or spiritually. I thought it would be easy as a church leader to get him to understand the reason for some of my boundaries but he felt I was being too difficult and selfish.

We began to argue about everything, we both come from large families, he said he would like to have five children, I said two. Not a big deal yeah, but it was at least to him. I've never seen myself having more than two biological children but I never knew it could raise so many issues. Then the rush, rush, rush, he wanted to get married within a year of our meeting but something in me wanted to still take things slower and get to know him better. I had no peace about the relationship, we saw each other but we weren't really a part of each other's lives, I never met his friends, he never met mine, our outings were usually one on one. I think it's important to see how your nearest and dearest interact with your nearest and dearest if you get what I mean. Love is a beautiful thing but can also make you near-sighted, your friends and family can usually see what you cannot and while they love you, they are not in love and if they are true they will tell you the truth.

After some time of prayer, I had a conversation with him and explained that I felt rushed, I didn't feel our relationship had got to the point where we should be planning a wedding and could we slow down and be friends (at least that's what I meant) but his response was that if we weren't dating there was no point having a relationship as in being friends, he wasn't looking for a 'friend' and that was it. I will confess, I breathed a huge sigh of relief when it was all over because I was beginning to feel trapped. I did send the occasional text on his birthday and Father's day (i send a text to all my male friends, single or married because they are all either dad's or prospective dads) but don't anymore. I guess if he was writing this post he would be able to give a more balanced picture but it ended because I think we were both different in some areas where we should be similar. There are some conversations you should have before even thinking about how your name sounds with his surname! We even had an argument about grandparents having pet names for the grandchildren, to me no big deal, to him, he names his children and that's that. It's not the end of the world but you should know what the deal is before you say I do.

So while he was kind and could be really tender, he wrote me some touching texts, I now know he wasn't for me, at least not the me I was then. Maybe still not the me I am now. I don't know, in relationships, flexibility is required, it can't always be my way or the high way because one day your partner will hit the road and Jack won't come back no more because Delilah has made life very comfortable for him. I know I grew from this relationship, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. I know this because the issues I had with AN didn't even reach 1/100000 of what I and Mr O have seen and had and yet I am still here. Mr O always says for better, for worse. I tell him that's when you take the vows but he says no, it's from now.

I don't believe in kissing many frogs until you find your prince, your lips just end up froggy but taking your time, making the most of opportunities and really assessing because sometimes there is a prince/princess in a frog and it takes you to bring him/her out. Relationships are hard work, not for the immature at all. We've all made mistakes, done things we aren't proud of but learn from them, grow from them and keep moving. Opposites attract but never underestimate the power of being on the same page on fundamental issues. Will tackle some of the yes/no questions in next post.

Till later,

XoXo

Expectations..

I've been pondering on the 20 questions in the previous post and thinking about what my answers to those questions would be. I just heard Dr Phil say that one of the greatest obstacles in marriage is when both partners have unmet expectations. So I guess the question 'What do you expect' isn't so out of place?


Our expectations come from different sources, it could be what was modelled to us at home by our parents, it could be what we feel society expects of us or for some of us what we read in some novels. So what do I expect?

• I expect him to be spiritually, physically and emotionally available to commit to a relationship with me

• I expect him to be committed to developing our relationship to a place where we become best friends, sharing with each other and being there for each other

• I expect him to remain committed to developing his relationship with Christ because where we are not perfect, God gives us the grace and strength to do what we cannot do of ourselves

• I expect him to be honest with me at all times, to tell me how it is even though it isn't what I necessarily what to hear

• I expect him to be the king, the man, the head of our home, the provider, priest, prophet and protector, to lead and not dominate

• I expect him to continue to dream big, be a man of vision and be willing to make the sacrifices necessary today for us to have a greater future

• On a lighter note, I expect that Mr O will be able to work a microwave, the oven and the washing machine (don't worry I intend to do most of the cooking, I like my life o!!lol)

• I also expect that although his decision is final, major decisions should be discussed between us, things like where we live and worship, career changes, children's' education and discipline and I reserve the right to make my objections known

• I expect him to be faithful to his vows to love and honour me above all else, so I don't expect there will be any other Mrs O (or sleeping partners) apart from me as long as we remain married

• I expect him to have a source of income whether from a job or a business, preferably both

• I expect him to be a present and effective father, loving and providing his presence to his kids.
  
• I expect him to give his 100% to our relationship
• Most importantly, I expect that on some days you won't meet my expectations of you because you are human after all

I believe this is a post that will continuously need refining as I go along but that covers most of it really. An important note, I don't expect him to be PERFECT, that's not what this is about but about realistically thinking through what I expect.

There are some other smaller things that may come up as when we live together, for example I don't expect him to balance the books or sort out our accounts, I expect us to bring together our skills, him doing what he does best (for example, he does a great stir fry BTW). I don't expect him to always take out the trash or change the light bulbs but I do expect him to pitch in with night feeds. I expect us to be a great team, working together, not competing against each other.

Well, that's long but I found this an interesting exercise. It's worth thinking about, don't you think?..

Till later

Xoxo

20 questions to ask before you get engaged..

These questions were 'lifted' from T.D Jakes' book, Before you do. It's a great book with advice applicable to all types of relationships not just romantic ones, a lot of times when reading, I had to stop and hmmmmm...sometimes out loud!!Lol! The premise for this book is on tools you need to prepare yourself before you say "I DO" because sometimes people say those two important words not really knowing and understanding what they are committing to. So here they are;

1. What do you expect?
2. What are your most prized possessions?
3. Where do you stand on faith?
4. What was your last major relationship like? How did it end?
5. What are your ideas about sexuality?
6. Do you know your HIV/AIDS status?
7. What are the secrets that you keep? Will you trust me to keep them too?
8. Have you ever been arrested and do you have a criminal record?
9. Do you have children or other children outside marriage?
10.How do you feel about having children?
11. How do you feel about disciplining children?
12. What are the roles of husband and wife for you?
13. What role do you see your parents, siblings and extended family playing in your relationship?
14. How do you handle disagreements and disappointments?
15. What is your vision for this family? Where would you like us to be in ten or twenty years?
16.How satisfied are you with your present career?
17. What is your debt-to-income ratio?
18. Is there any need or desire for a prenuptial agreement?
19. Do you have a will or a living will and can we talk about it?
20.What annoys you the most about me? What do you enjoy the most about being with me?

Wow, that's exhaustive but I'm sure you're not expected to ask all these on one date, also some things I think you don't need to ask, you see it in your partners behaviour. I guess I and Mr O have some new pointers for upcoming discussions. Lol, just thought to share but do get the book!

Don't worry, I'll share our discussions if Mr O permits. So get talking, listening and understanding.

Till later

Xoxo

Theory vs. practical

Hi

Thanks for reading today, I hope and pray you are blessed. I'm becoming more aware each day of how much work relationships and marriage need. Yes, it's fun and it's wonderful to have someone to love and who loves you in return but on some days......hmm.

Writing about relationship do's and don'ts, even giving advice is so easy but when it comes to the crunch of living it out, it AINT easy at all. I'm honest enough to admit that I do lose the plot every so often but I thank God for His grace and also for a man who while not being perfect embodies the word COMMITMENT. The counselling classes are bringing up issues to the surface and I guess I've allowed it to faze me a bit but I'm now really learning what it means to walk the talk. Theory vs. practical, I'm learning so I must be doing. According to Maya Angelou (PhD) when you know better, you should do better.

So there we were seated in Pastor D's office talking about barriers to effective communication. Before we got in, I was a bit miffed because he didn't actually do the assignment, we were supposed to work on it together and I felt that he didn't put any effort in because he knew I was going to do it. Mr O then asked an interesting question about our pastor's thoughts on separate bedrooms for husband and wife...I was like hmmm, and then he rushed to clarify that it wasn't about sleeping arrangements but just for; hope I'm repeating this verbatim.."her luggage" and then he mentioned something to do with liking having his things being kept in order.

I don't know if it was not just a great day or the way he said it, or the way I heard it but I was really UPSET! Ha ha ha, the devil is a mean 'ole son of a gun! What I heard was, "Pastor, is it ok for her to have a separate bedroom for her things because she is messy"! Please don't get me wrong, it wasn't what he said that got me a lil' riled but the fact that he had NEVER brought this up with me before. It made me wonder whether there were some other things that I did that he didn't like and why he felt he couldn't bring them up. Pastor D said it wasn't an issue but partners should learn how to be accommodating of their spouses. Personally, I think Mr O has a bit of an OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) when it comes to living arrangements, I'm sure I've mentioned that before while for me cleanliness and not necessarily having all boxes on a straight line is more important.

I plead guilty I disobeyed most of the rules in the previous post, I made assumptions about what he was saying, I went into my silent monosyllable mode, I thought, thought, thought, instead of talk, talk, talk. I let the sun go down and I was angry. I refused to admit to myself that I was angry. However, I came back and read everything I'd written down and began to practicalise them. We discussed it, my issue was not about separate rooms but an inability to raise 'tough' issues, we haven't still totally dealt with that but it's ok. He was also upset about a recent decision I had made and I tried to explain the WHY behind it, I don't think we came to an agreement about it but it's still ok.

I learnt that anyone can fight but it takes maturity to fight FAIR. Also, always be sure that not only do you listen to what your partner is saying make sure you UNDERSTAND what they're saying, ask questions. The closer you are to marriage, the less there should be 'no-go' areas and remember to PRAY. Talk to God, I've realised the more I talk to HIM about him, the more HE talks to me about ME! When people don't understand, God does and He will make a way. Also after a recent conversation with a friend, be careful when 'interfering' in the relationships of others, remember 'Chinese whispers', by the time one partner comes to you some of the information could have changed. Communication is speaking, listening and UNDERSTANDING and remember it's one thing to know the right thing to do and actually going out and doing it.

I've been challenged by Favoured Girl's post on respect and I'm still musing on that. I'm praying and asking God to help us work on the cracks that are present in our communication, it's not so much about talking more but creating an environment where such communication can take place. I'm currently reading 'Before you do' by T.D Jakes and my next post will be on some questions you should pose to your intended before you even get engaged.

Till later, keep learning, loving and living

Xoxo

Barriers to Effective Communication

Our next counselling session is on the 10th of September, just wanted to pen a few thoughts on the topic given to us to work on before consulting Mr O. Communication, sex and money are three very important pillars in marital relationships, I always put communication first on the list because I think success in the other two areas depend on having effective communication with your partner.

Communication involves SPEAKING, LISTENING and UNDERSTANDING. If there are any issues in or with any of these areas then we get a breakdown in communication. A pastor told me that the most important point to remember was to 'always keep the lines of communication open'. So what are the barriers;

• Resentment and anger; the Bible says we should be slow to speak, quick to listen and slow to get angry. The truth is I can be the exact opposite, I get angry quite quickly (Help me Holy Spirit) when I'm angry, I don't really want to talk to Mr O so this affects the speaking part but if we are not speaking this delays us from working at conflict resolution. I'm learning not to discuss important issues at the height of emotion i.e when I'm really upset or when I'm really happy.

• Pride (thanks Aunty Y), pride is a posture that says I'm right, I'm always right and even when I'm wrong, I'm right....hmm I wish I could say I've got this in check as well. Well, we are all a work in progress. Pride also prevents one from asking forgiveness when it is needed.

• Wrong timing; Saying the right thing at the wrong time could end up blowing in your face, I've been there, done that and have the T-shirt to show for it. I personally believe that because women tend to more intuitive, we see things coming and are always so eager to let the man in our life know but I am asking God for the grace to know when to speak and when to keep quiet. I mentioned about not discussing important issues at the height of emotion either happy or sad; this is because sometimes there are some things that just have to be said and I tend to not want to 'rock the boat' if I feel we are in a good place but I see Mr O as my best friend which means that I need to love him enough to give my 2 cents even when I know it may hurt him. I've learnt that it's not always so much WHAT is said as it is HOW it is said. Tough words given in an atmosphere of love and acceptance are usually easier to swallow, the Bible says 'better are wounds from a friend'

• Personality types: I believe that there are 4 main temperaments as described by Tim Lahaye, I'm basically a melancholic type which means I just retreat within myself and go into my monosyllable mode..yes, no, ok..Lol! This isn't a good thing because inwardly I'm seething and resentment is building, on the other hand Mr O isn't good at bringing up things for discussion, he has a more phlegmatic approach to life, with the day to day things well he can talk but for the more weighty issues he prefers to contribute his own two cents when I've raised it. I'm still not so sure this is a good thing but the whole thing about understanding personality types is knowing that we can have a Spirit controlled temperament whereby we can choose to behave in a way which we would normally not for example instead of going into my Yes vs. No mood I can remind myself that the word of God says that anger resides in the bosom of a fool and let go of it and discuss how I'm really feeling, easier said than done!

• Unresolved issues: The Bible says not to let the sun go down on our anger, to that I add if I could, to not allow too many suns go down without coming to a resolution on matters. By resolution, I don't believe we have to agree but we can agree to disagree. I and Mr O have very different opinions when it comes to weddings, rather than allowing it to be an unresolved issue, I have chosen to agree to disagree with him. When the time comes, hopefully we will come to a Win-Win agreement.

• Distractions: This is so important, I guess it ties in with right timing, I don't like it when I'm discussing something important and Mr O is not paying attention especially when it's over the phone. I'm also learning to give my total attention when my friends are speaking to me. I think it's a sign of respect.

This post was difficult to write because now I don't really have the excuse of ignorance to hide behind as I know what some of the barriers to effective communication are. I don't want to be a writer and not a doer, so what are the solutions..

• Prayer: There is nothing like it and I wouldn't leave the house without it. Prayer changes situations and people but the most interesting thing I've found is that the more I pray, the more GOD changes ME. Prayer gives me the grace and strength to do things I didn't think I was capable of.
• Staying in the word of God: The Bible is full of practical wisdom that can be applied to our lives. Solomon tells us in Proverbs that it is better to be on the roof than share a house with a nagging wife (ouch!), also isn't it interesting that Esther presented her case to the king after she had fed him (lol!), also we are reminded to love one another and be kind to one another. Jesus sometimes had strong words for his disciples..I recall him calling them dull!! but I'm sure they knew He loved them.
• Take the responsibility: Use I more often than you, I feel that as opposed to "You do this", while this doesn't mean my partner is right, I am acknowledging that I still have a role to play while making him understanding how his behaviour is having an effect on me
• Keep the lines of communication clear and open at all times: No more silent treatment, no more malice. Hmm, I confess that sometimes I do wait for him to be the first to say sorry but that's less often now than it was before so things are changing. One thing I've realised also is that 80% of the time when I'm busy rolling my eyes at the phone, he's not even aware that something is wrong! Lol!
• Seek more to understand than to be understood; This is one of the habits of Highly Effective People from Stephen Covey, this will involve the higher way of listening and understanding more than speaking. Try and understand where your partner is coming from. After meeting Dr O (Mr O's dad) I learnt a lot about why he behaved the way he did sometimes and it helped me understand where he was coming from on a lot of issues, never underestimate the role your upbringing plays on molding the person you are today! Understanding brings about tolerance.

Ok, this assignment feels more like a punishment, why isn't the right thing to do always the easiest thing, love is a spiritual thing, you can't really succeed from the natural level alone. I think I need to meditate on these words. I'll let you know how it all went.

Till later

XoXo