Wednesday 17 February 2010

Love is you..




What's your definition of it? How's it make you feel?
Tell me what'd you say that truly makes it real
Kings and queens, philosophers have tried so hard to find
Tell me what it means to you, dear, never mind

Love is kind when the world is cold
Love stays strong when the fight gets old
Love is a shoulder to lean on, love is you

Love's like the water when the well runs dry
Quench my thirst, keep me alive
Just need one sip, baby, love is you
Love is you, love is you, love is you, love is you

Is it possible there's a kiss that's so divine?
Or am I just too fool? Is it all in my mind?
Is there something chemical? A scientist might say
Well, love must be drug to make me feel this way

'Cause love is my permission to be who I am
Knowing the business 'cause you understand
Freedom to breathe, oh baby, love is you

Love's like a kiss when the sun goes down
Holds me tight when no one's around
Love's what I wanna hold on to, love is you
Love is you, love is you, love is you, love is you
Love is you, love is you, love is you, love is you

Love is kind, it makes me stronger
I don't have to look no longer
You're the one I'd cling to, love is you

When the chips are down
Love will stick around
I'm so glad I found, love is you

Masters have tried to clarify
Love's quite simple, it's just my guide
A perfect definition
Love is you, love is you, love is you, love is you, is you

Love is you by Chrisette Michele

Monday 15 February 2010

Love is a verb..

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love
1st Corinthians 13

Love, in all its forms is a beautiful thing. The love God has for us demonstrated in the sacrificial giving of His Son, the love of a husband for his wife as he pretends his eyes are just misty as she walks down the aisle on her dad's arm, the love of a mother for her newborn as she coos and sings and rocks him gently to sleep. The love of a friend who sits in the waiting room praying that when the doctor walks in it will be good news. Love, in all its forms is a beautiful thing but like all beautiful things, maintenance requires hard work.

Like a beautiful flower that is appreciated by all, it is easy to forget that it all begun with the death of a seed, being buried unnoticed in the dirt, the sun shining, the rain falling before the manifestation of what is beautiful. Sometimes relationships are like that, going through the daily grind of keeping it working can be tasking but we must keep at it. I read 1st Corinthians 13 and I'm like am I really like that, honestly, no but I'm committing to working at it.

Green grass requires work to keep it shining, no use looking at the other side wishing that was what you had. I'm learning about embracing seasons, sometimes love doesn't come as natural to me, sometimes I don't 'feel' the love, at those times I think it's even more important to remember that love is a verb, something one does much more than something one feels. So if you are at a point where you don't feel anything, just do something, say something, cook something, write something, pray something, take the little steps to get to where you want to be.

One step at a time, one day at a time and very soon you'll be the green grass that everyone wants. That's my goal now and with God's help I'm working towards it.

Dear God,

Thank you for Mr O, no man has the ability to make me smile as much (or frown as much), no man has made me laugh as much (well, or cry as much) but I thank you because overall he is the man you made me for, the man you keep working in me for, the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. Help him be the man you created him to be. Teach us how to love each other and keep our relationship strong in Jesus name.

I pray the same for others who walk this path!

Till later,
XoXo

Monday 8 February 2010

Irrelevant strangers

I am sitting across you unable to keep eye contact. I feel your eyes on me, looking at me, willing them to stare back into yours so you can see what your words are doing. My ears are listening to what your mouth is saying but it is becoming confusing as for each sentence and phrase my mind creates another and I am obliged to listen to you both.

This isn't working, you say, you need some space to find yourself but my head is also asking if it isn't working because of her, if you are finding yourself with her. Somewhere along the conversation I realise I have lost you, it must have been somewhere between the 'Its not you, its me' and 'I hope this does not affect our friendship and our business'. I want to laugh at this point but fear how it would look. I feel you waiting for me to burst into tears and honestly I'm waiting for it too. It's funny as I watch us both destroy so quickly what we've built in the last decade. I see beyond your shoulder to Daddy's 'I told you so' and Mummy's shocked look as she realises I might not need the dress after all.

When did we become irrelevant strangers, you and I? When did we stop caring? When did we stop listening and touching and noticing? When did we stop speaking? When did summer's heat become winter's freeze? When..

But you cut through the conversation between myself and I and I hear you tell me how it will all be ok because I am so strong, one of the things you loved most about me you say as you get the bill and I realise we are using past tense already. The evening is over and so are we. I open my mouth to speak but can't will my lips to separate. Pride prevents the tears from falling, at least on the outside! At the tube station, I convert the embrace to a perfunctory handshake as you head west and I east, signalling our future, travelling in opposite directions.

I laugh then because I feel I can but then it comes; that pain that goes from my chest to my belly in the fraction of a second. It is then the tears start to fall. The tears speak, telling me I am human and externalising my pain, what they fail to tell me is that they will never stop, at least not for months to come.

Xoxo