Thursday, 16 April 2009

Knowing me and knowing you...

Yesterday, I allowed my mum to make me upset, I used the word allowed because to be upset or react with any emotion is a choice we have the power to make. The fact that someone says something that is provoking doesn't mean I have to be provoked. Selah!

So what happened? She came into a room in which I happened to be jejely browsing the net and said, "Esther, you may have problems with Mr O because you are quite disorganised whilst you know he likes things being in order, get yourself organised!! Trust Mummy Esther, she just says it as it is, no sugar-coating, just RAW! I got upset because 1. the mess wasn't mine 2. in all honesty, no-one ever likes when they are criticised. However, I'm learning to assess all critical comments that come my way in a way that will be constructive to my life, her words also got me thinking about the differences between I and Mr O.

No I'm not a messy person (stop rolling your eyes I'm not). I just have a higher tolerance for clutter than Mr O and my mum. What I can't abide is dust, my area might be cluttered but never dirty or dusty. So here we are, 2 people learning to walk together in love and in Christ but yet different. I think it's important to be aware of what our differences are and how we can use them to work for us and not against us. I can only do this if I take the time to know first of all who I am and next who he is. It's about knowing me and knowing you. From time to time, I like to critically access myself and check how I'm growing, if I'm getting better at things I need to work on, if I'm relaxing in areas I need to be putting in more effort. Thank God for His grace, He is the only one who can empower us to change into the transformed person He wants us to be. So how are we different?

  • Though we're from the same country, we're from different ethnic groups, different languages, different cultures
  • We support different football teams in the English Premiership, different countries in international matches, this is usually no biggie as I know I support the best team (no discussion!)
  • He's the spender, I'm the saver
  • He's sanguine, I'm more melancholic
  • He's so English (prim, proper, minding your p's and q's, compulsive tea drinker) in his style and mannerisms, I tend to be more American (carefree, friendly and open, don't really like caffeinated drinks!!)
  • He's OCD when it comes to arranging while I'm not
  • His parents are separated and mine are not (at least in terms of living together)
  • His background is social sciences while I am pure sciences. I never realised that your education has a way of influencing the way you live!
  • We attend different churches although we both have a Pentecostal background
  • I hate ironing and he loves ironing (laundry issues settled! hopefully)

I can't really remember more at this point but will update as I go along. With our differences however are similarities like we both love God and each other. We have good relationships with our siblings, we both have a great sense of humour and love to gossip!

I believe that we are all created by God as unique individuals. Whilst some differences might be grating on the nerves sometimes, I believe there are essential to a relationship because two different pairs of eyes will see broader than a pair as long as we are working in unity. However, similarities are important in some essential areas to provide a good foundation and stability. The Bible says it is difficult for two people to walk together except they are agreed. This is especially important with regards to faith.

By the grace of God, I pray to be more aware of myself, of Mr O with regards to our strengths and weaknesses and how we can build our relationships on our strengths using them to propel us forward and I trust God by His grace that this will be so.

Still learning, loving and growing.


1 comment:

Favoured Girl said...

I love the fact that you have realised the differences in your personalities and you are aware of them before they start causing problems. I did a post similar to this sometime ago. Well done!