Thursday, 17 September 2009

20 questions to ask before you get engaged..

These questions were 'lifted' from T.D Jakes' book, Before you do. It's a great book with advice applicable to all types of relationships not just romantic ones, a lot of times when reading, I had to stop and hmmmmm...sometimes out loud!!Lol! The premise for this book is on tools you need to prepare yourself before you say "I DO" because sometimes people say those two important words not really knowing and understanding what they are committing to. So here they are;

1. What do you expect?
2. What are your most prized possessions?
3. Where do you stand on faith?
4. What was your last major relationship like? How did it end?
5. What are your ideas about sexuality?
6. Do you know your HIV/AIDS status?
7. What are the secrets that you keep? Will you trust me to keep them too?
8. Have you ever been arrested and do you have a criminal record?
9. Do you have children or other children outside marriage?
10.How do you feel about having children?
11. How do you feel about disciplining children?
12. What are the roles of husband and wife for you?
13. What role do you see your parents, siblings and extended family playing in your relationship?
14. How do you handle disagreements and disappointments?
15. What is your vision for this family? Where would you like us to be in ten or twenty years?
16.How satisfied are you with your present career?
17. What is your debt-to-income ratio?
18. Is there any need or desire for a prenuptial agreement?
19. Do you have a will or a living will and can we talk about it?
20.What annoys you the most about me? What do you enjoy the most about being with me?

Wow, that's exhaustive but I'm sure you're not expected to ask all these on one date, also some things I think you don't need to ask, you see it in your partners behaviour. I guess I and Mr O have some new pointers for upcoming discussions. Lol, just thought to share but do get the book!

Don't worry, I'll share our discussions if Mr O permits. So get talking, listening and understanding.

Till later

Xoxo

11 comments:

Kemi said...

Hey Hadassah, I love your blog! this is my first time visiting. I have a quick question though, do you live in nigeria? if so where are you doing your marriage counselling classes? my beau and I have been looking for one. keep in mind we're not getting married in nigeria though. thanks

Hadassah said...

@kemi: Thanks for your comment, no I don't live in Nigeria, ask in your church, you don't have to be getting married there as long as you are a member. It can even be his church if you both don't attend the same church. I and Mr O are attending both because we go to different churches..you've got a great blog as well.

SEPTEMBER said...

Hey, when is your wedding coming up.

Hadassah said...

@September: I'm not really sure, we would like to get married next year.

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