Thursday, 24 September 2009


I've been pondering on the 20 questions in the previous post and thinking about what my answers to those questions would be. I just heard Dr Phil say that one of the greatest obstacles in marriage is when both partners have unmet expectations. So I guess the question 'What do you expect' isn't so out of place?

Our expectations come from different sources, it could be what was modelled to us at home by our parents, it could be what we feel society expects of us or for some of us what we read in some novels. So what do I expect?

  • I expect him to be spiritually, physically and emotionally available to commit to a relationship with me

  • I expect him to be committed to developing our relationship to a place where we become best friends, sharing with each other and being there for each other

  • I expect him to remain committed to developing his relationship with Christ because where we are not perfect, God gives us the grace and strength to do what we cannot do of ourselves

  • I expect him to be honest with me at all times, to tell me how it is even though it isn't what I necessarily what to hear

  • I expect him to be the king, the man, the head of our home, the provider, priest, prophet and protector, to lead and not dominate

  • I expect him to continue to dream big, be a man of vision and be willing to make the sacrifices necessary today for us to have a greater future

  • On a lighter note, I expect that Mr O will be able to work a microwave, the oven and the washing machine (don't worry I intend to do most of the cooking, I like my life o!!lol)

  • I also expect that although his decision is final, major decisions should be discussed between us, things like where we live and worship, career changes, children's' education and discipline and I reserve the right to make my objections known

  • I expect him to be faithful to his vows to love and honour me above all else, so I don't expect there will be any other Mrs O (or sleeping partners) apart from me as long as we remain married

  • I expect him to have a source of income whether from a job or a business, preferably both

  • I expect him to be a present and effective father, loving and providing his presence to his kids.
  • I expect him to give his 100% to our relationship
  • Most importantly, I expect that on some days you won't meet my expectations of you because you are human after all

I believe this is a post that will continuously need refining as I go along but that covers most of it really. An important note, I don't expect him to be PERFECT, that's not what this is about but about realistically thinking through what I expect.

There are some other smaller things that may come up as when we live together, for example I don't expect him to balance the books or sort out our accounts, I expect us to bring together our skills, him doing what he does best (for example, he does a great stir fry BTW). I don't expect him to always take out the trash or change the light bulbs but I do expect him to pitch in with night feeds. I expect us to be a great team, working together, not competing against each other.

Well, that's long but I found this an interesting exercise. It's worth thinking about, don't you think?..

Till later




Hey hadassah, how are you doing. I like your expectations and it is very possible to meet it. However, just like you said, it will not happen everytime/everyday. That's why we are humans.

Anonymous said...

wow... very detailed expectations...which every Godly bloke should strive to aspire to! First time here..

Hadassah said...

@ September: To the new Mrs on the block, welcome back, earnestly waiting for the gist..

@akaBagucci:Welcome to this space, I hope you find time to come by here because it will be interesting to hear a guy's take on some of the things written here

Lady A said...

Expect him to be him. That's what helped me.